Dont u bring me down today

1:
freakin workgroup is pailling up to the cealling , an is all on me, others r too busy to do it, other doing this, and other doing that, freakin mad, and when i just started doing it today by my self, and i was on fire really on fire
then one of them, texted me "hi bud, hows our homework?" when i sain do u want to meet up and doing it together, thousand of reason r just there" F*** that, stop giving me this bullshit all care and all that but then u dont give any shit about it.l F*** u all , u just ruin it it got me angry, freakin maaaad!, i can do this by myself, and hopefully i m gonna finish it, im gonna put it all nighter... hopefully!

2:
my own family is all F*** up too today, first my sista, okay she just got home from work and all i ask is borrowing her mobile phone just for 1 minute, and she's like "whaat, i just bought some credit, noo expensive, no way"... fineeeee
then i text my mom, just wondering where is she and all,
and she answered she is in the hospital, so i text back, where? what happen i'll go there right now? then she just said
im okay, im just old and rotten,..bla bla bla.
mOM i dont need that today, im stressed enough already, stop being soo freakin spoiled and the neeed of the attention, i just cant give that today, dont u know u freakin good 4 nothing son, is stressfull enough about anything agghhhhhh

random.....

im so confuse my self with this one!

friends friends friends!
im here all the time
im tired when u said to me "u r so snob bud?"
ur so busy and all, bla bla bla.

first
i am busy and all, so much on my plate right now,
since dad is gone, im trying to keep my family together
coz sometimes they just lose it sometimes, specially my mom
i had to be with her all the time, well not really...but at least im there

second
i found out ur hooking up with my friend H, can't believe u did that, he got a wife and kids what the hell r u doing , seriously! u r insane,
i know u breaking up with A coz A got together with J an it hurt u badly and u need somebody else to be with u all the time , im sorry that i cant be with u all the time then u throw me away like garbage, but im glad, being with u is like a prisoner coz A & J also my friends i cant hang out with them and with others or i had a little time 4 my family......poor H " it's ur new victim but.... well.. H is also very Fake person so u deserve together.

also ur anger to A & J dont take it out only at J or giving the face or mouth, seriously how H feels! u already have somebody else no need that revenge already! u all are important to me,but i u r gonna do something to J, im gonna protect J from u all i can if u are , not because i like J coz J is my friend and im gonna protect all my friends, u freak!

three
yes im teaching class now, if u dont like seeing me up there go F*** urself , go talk with people said whatever u like, coz i know its not true an there r still friends who believe me that i can do this.. an... yeap im good!

On my way UP!!

things are really good this months!
Finally!!!
i had finished my last UNI project an i Pass, all i need to do is finish this semester an IM DONE for UNi for good!!
whooofff@@
then i had passed my training as an Instructor RPM class for the gym, after 7 years doing it after being fat, then thin, fat again, then thin again, over over and over, im gonna earn money from doing what i love and soo passion about it, work Hard really payed off, ! hehe

then im being a shadow for at least 3 weeks, then team coach for 2 weeks then i gonna have my own class pretty soon! hehehe!
cant wait, although i still hav to memorize all the songs and the choreography for at least 20 songs, i only had memorize 5 of it, so 15 more songs to go! yippiee!

an the people who im training with u r amaziing, for the past 2 days we worked really hard together as a team, really miss u people hope we can meet again soon! really2 miss u,




i have to thank u all the people
who supported me all this, i just cant thank u enough, so much people who being in this cause. love u and thank u so much for all ur greatness!

some people some friends

for some reasons
i've been supporting people around me so much, i encourage them, i motivate them, and i push them to the limit, some success. and once their reach their target an change their life to this whole new world, i was happy, and proud to them to the max....

but as the time goes past little by little.. they forgot who was i.
i was just a friendor someone who past by, and gave them support, nothing more.

then it was a snap!! for me, they change , why havent i, where am i going..
is it because the unstable mind of me, or is it..
i dont know
i dont know

u are

so weak! on soo many ways!

phase 1:
after the day u left
class never been the same, ur the only one who would shouted back whenever i shouted.
i didnt tell my feeling to you on ur last day there.
i mean whats the point! u gonna go anyway for how long i dont know!
maybe i should've tell u
then we could spend time alone .
but then...........
i dont know its been 3 days only and i miss u so bad, badly enough that i got no energy on everthing on anything.
even though i have few more days to go on my last big presentation on UNI!
seems didnt care!
but i do care, i really do, but u are moreee!

phase 2:
u make me happy then u hurt me then u make my whole word beutiful again!
oh im such a weak guy, i just cant say no to you!
last night u came to me again, that ur feeling down need someone to talk.. who else u can talk to, other than me! of course i say yes i'l accompany u ,
then we chat have a beer, another beer and another beer and another! till u feel a lot better... and better.
then for the first time u grab my head.......... then kiss it! which u never done it before ever.

i want to grab ur hand, but i didnt dare to do it. im scared to go there again, coz u hurt and i dont want go complicated again! im done with that!
so i just sit there trying not looking at u, and everything in u!
shut up and smile!
if u didnt have someone else i would to give it back to you!
but u seems so attached to that person, that i dont want to hurt.

and if we did ended up together again,
life will be so hard to me and u! so im chicken out....
oh well i dont know what would happen tomorow, we'l have to see
agaiiinn!! hehehehe

letter 2

i miss u dad!
life is so up an down since u away
im lost,
dealing with death, is hard than it looks!