some people some friends

for some reasons
i've been supporting people around me so much, i encourage them, i motivate them, and i push them to the limit, some success. and once their reach their target an change their life to this whole new world, i was happy, and proud to them to the max....

but as the time goes past little by little.. they forgot who was i.
i was just a friendor someone who past by, and gave them support, nothing more.

then it was a snap!! for me, they change , why havent i, where am i going..
is it because the unstable mind of me, or is it..
i dont know
i dont know

u are

so weak! on soo many ways!

phase 1:
after the day u left
class never been the same, ur the only one who would shouted back whenever i shouted.
i didnt tell my feeling to you on ur last day there.
i mean whats the point! u gonna go anyway for how long i dont know!
maybe i should've tell u
then we could spend time alone .
but then...........
i dont know its been 3 days only and i miss u so bad, badly enough that i got no energy on everthing on anything.
even though i have few more days to go on my last big presentation on UNI!
seems didnt care!
but i do care, i really do, but u are moreee!

phase 2:
u make me happy then u hurt me then u make my whole word beutiful again!
oh im such a weak guy, i just cant say no to you!
last night u came to me again, that ur feeling down need someone to talk.. who else u can talk to, other than me! of course i say yes i'l accompany u ,
then we chat have a beer, another beer and another beer and another! till u feel a lot better... and better.
then for the first time u grab my head.......... then kiss it! which u never done it before ever.

i want to grab ur hand, but i didnt dare to do it. im scared to go there again, coz u hurt and i dont want go complicated again! im done with that!
so i just sit there trying not looking at u, and everything in u!
shut up and smile!
if u didnt have someone else i would to give it back to you!
but u seems so attached to that person, that i dont want to hurt.

and if we did ended up together again,
life will be so hard to me and u! so im chicken out....
oh well i dont know what would happen tomorow, we'l have to see
agaiiinn!! hehehehe

letter 2

i miss u dad!
life is so up an down since u away
im lost,
dealing with death, is hard than it looks!