im in pain!!
the day when my dad died, i dont feel anything, just empty , nothing that i wanna do, nothing could make happy, just a fake smile that i gotto give when people were all saying their condelences.
"oh BUDI , IM Ssorry BOUT YOUR DAD, evrythings will be alright"
" your dad is happy now, he is in a better place"
"something good would come from it"
FOR GOD sake!
" AAARGGGGHHH JUST FUCKING SHUT UUP "
AND LEAVE ME ALONE "
BUT now im feeling the pain much more
" everytime i got home from uni , he asked to brough him food"
" he asked me to give him a massage "
" he asked to go to pharmany to by a Balm, for his back "
" i saw him sitting on the table, and asked me to make him tea"
" he asked me to Go to the beach with him "
" he asked me what u wanna eat today "
" he asked to by by him shampoo, so i give it whats mine "
" He asked me to go shopping at the mall "
" he called me late at night, from his room, just knowing where i am"
" HE CAlled me late at nigth, asking for food"
" he asked me to go to the office to do some errands"
" he asked me to pick him up at hospital every tuesday and thusrday"
" he sked me to pick him up from the office, so we could eat dinner together"
" he always defended me, when mom angry"
dad i miss u so bad, i went home 4 years ago to take care of youjust for u! why d hell did u go so fast.
" u havent see me getting married"
" u havent got to see ur grandchild from me"
" u havent see me graduated"
" u havent see me work by my self, without ur help"
" i haven take u to HONGKONG,where we playing gambling together like in malay"
" u havent see me as a successful man, where u give freedom to choose my own way"
now since u left, everyday mom and sis always blaming me for everythingand no one defended me like u used to be,.
where we always sneak out during lunch, talk and eat at much as we could at Padang raya"
"im sorry i couldnt find u a better doctor
"a better hospital "
"a better treatment".
right now im still looking my way to be better, to be more successfulllike u always wanted, i know is hard but i will never give up easyly.
even that im alone right now, i dont give shit about all that, no shit at all!
my promise to you is the only thing that kept me going right now!!rest in peace dad!!love u all my life, and im sorry if i alway letting u down"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Hey Bud, I don't think it will ever be okay for your dad to go, but it's gonna get better. You're a strong guy and you got amazing friends like us (haha) who are there for you. So call B and me anytime you wanna talk or text us and we'll call you, okay.
Love you hon, take care over there.
thank u hon!
of course lah, you guys are over the top from amazing ! hehehe!
u did called, and im glad!
i just need to let it out!
thank u anyway, lov u too!!
you still have all the time to make him proud, I mean, like I understand he's not here anymore but I somehow always feel that my dad is still around, always. And everytime I achieved something, I tell him in my prayer, I know he knows it.
cheer up buttercup, it's not too late to do million things to make him proud.
hai bro, it's me your beautiful sister hahahah. Mom & I didn't meant to hurt u or blame u of anything. We just want u to grow up and be a man. We want u to be a person with a good responsibble. One day mom and I will die, and i wish when the day come, u can take care of yourself. One thing u should know we love u so much. What u will be 4 the next 3 or 5 or10 years it's up to what u do today. Its all depending what u choose. I don't want u be a person with regret. We all losing papa, we all miss papa, but life must go on. Be brave, be responsibble, be a positive thinker. we all love u, please erase your negative thought.
ih Ngapain lo buka2!! iseeng!!!
GLEDEEKKK!!!
Iyaaa~ pasti lah! thank you yee!!
Post a Comment